The Victorian gentleman must have been really something to behold if the
following article is true. For any woman who has dreamed of the "knight in shining
armor", the perfect man, or just a man who would give up the TV remote control, you
have found him here. Remember, these gentleman mostly existed in the Victorian era. Few of
us may be lucky enough to find one in the 20th century. For those of you still looking,
you may get some good tips on things to look for in a man. For those of you who are
married, take heart and remember, your husband may not resemble the "Victorian
Gentleman", but you love him anyway. |
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| It is almost a
definition of a gentleman to say he is one who never inflicts pain. This description is
both refined and, as far as it goes, accurate. He is mainly occupied in merely removing
the obstacles which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him; and he
concurs with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself. |
| His
benefits may be considered as parallel to what are called comforts or conveniences in
arrangements of a personal nature: like an easy chair or a good fire, which do their part
in dispelling cold and fatigue, though nature provides both means of rest and animal heat
without them. |
| The true gentleman in
like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause ajar or a jolt in the minds of those with
whom he is cast; -- all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint, or
suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to make every one at their
case and at home. |
| He
has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the
distant, and merciful towards the absurd; he can recollect to whom he is speaking; he
guards against unseasonable allusions, or topics which may irritate; he is seldom
prominent in conversation, and never wearisome. He makes light of favours while he does
them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. |
| He never speaks of
himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort, he has no ears for
slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, and
interprets everything for the best. |
| He
is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes
personalities or sharp sayings for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say
out. From a long-sighted prudence, he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that we
should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend. |
| He has too much good sense to be affronted at insults, he is too well employed to remember injuries, and too indolent to bear malice. He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical principles; he submits to pain, because it is inevitable, to bereavement, because it is irreparable, and to death, because it is his destiny. If he engages in controversy of any kind, his disciplined intellect preserves him from the blunder. [From The Idea of a University, 1852] |